tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9786562591489393552012-02-11T17:06:23.021-06:00I am a stay-at-home mom with an outgoing, spirited, rebellious two-year-old daughter. I lost my mother to breast cancer when I was 16, and recently lost my only sister to breast cancer as well. Parenting without the guidance and support of the two most important women in my life has been challenging. I'm writing this blog to detail how I learn, how I make it through all of the not-so-good moments, and how I create memorable moments with my daughter.Nicnoreply@blogger.comBlogger811100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-978656259148939355.post-16236577937844510242012-02-11T17:06:00.000-06:002012-02-11T17:06:23.052-06:00

I realized it had been far too long since my daughter and I last did a craft project together. She really enjoys crafts, and she concentrates so hard on them. She's quite patient and dedicated in her work; it's too cute. I'm pretty sure she gets her desire to do crafts from her mom, who got it from her maternal grandmother. Side note: A couple years before my maternal grandmother passed away she

Nicnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-978656259148939355.post-40584630216355780872012-02-10T18:21:00.000-06:002012-02-10T18:21:09.148-06:00

A discussion arose recently on a blog I follow about whether sugar should be regulated in order to help curb childhood obesity. You can link here to the article: "Do You Want the Government to Regulate Your Child's Sugar Intake?" I understand producing regulations that reduce or even eliminate sugary foods and drinks in schools. But beyond that, shouldn't parents be responsible for the sugar

Nicnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-978656259148939355.post-62815823944169023022012-02-09T16:48:00.000-06:002012-02-09T16:48:51.568-06:00

There is another side to the mammogram story: Could a mammogram even be effective for someone my age? Of course, I have no crystal ball and cannot answer with certainty whether a mammogram is worth my time and money. Both my mother and my sister died from aggressive, fast-growing breast cancers. For those cancers, months, perhaps even weeks, were critical amounts of time. In fact, just a few

Nicnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-978656259148939355.post-81511589560035875302012-02-08T19:30:00.000-06:002012-02-08T19:30:25.486-06:00

I wonder how Brinker, the CEO of The Komen Foundation, sleeps at night, especially since the "scurrilous accusations" against her organization proved to be correct and not slanderous. On Sunday, the Huffington Post posted an article revealing that Karen Handel, the new VP of The Komen Foundation, was, in fact, behind the decision to stop providing funding to Planned Parenthood. Then on Tuesday,

Nicnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-978656259148939355.post-60113910699868332112012-02-07T21:18:00.001-06:002012-02-07T21:23:32.223-06:00

I went to the doctor today. Not because I'm sick. It was just a regular check-up. I learned one thing, though: I was overdue for a tetanus shot (ouch). Since the last time I saw a doctor was when I lived in Maryland, the doctor I saw today was completely new to me. This meant that I had to detail my family history of breast cancer yet again. Half-sister first diagnosed at the age of 26. Mom

Nicnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-978656259148939355.post-66071306585436688922012-02-06T12:04:00.000-06:002012-02-06T12:04:03.584-06:00

First, I would just like to apologize for my sub-par posts the last couple of days. I was feeling the worst of my cold, and it was hard to write. Thanks for bearing with me through my stuffy-nose induced fog. Over the past year, I've been learning a lot about myself. I am beginning to understand who I am as an individual, thanks in large part to having to research how to be the best parent I can

Nicnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-978656259148939355.post-70793716261019263242012-02-05T20:58:00.000-06:002012-02-05T20:58:02.187-06:00

My daughter is just getting over this horrible cold that all three of us have now had the pleasure to experience. (I'm still very much feeling the effects although I've been sick for five days now.) Her energy and good mood are back in full force. She's been running around crazy all day, jumping off of things, dancing, laughing. I took my daughter to the doctor on Wednesday last week to be sure

Nicnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-978656259148939355.post-36295500408186825772012-02-04T11:28:00.000-06:002012-02-04T11:28:36.060-06:00

The second point in Ghandi's Top Ten Fundamentals for Changing the World is that you are in control. Of what, though? This month, I'm trying to figure that out. The first point in the top ten fundamentals is to change yourself. I decided to change myself through becoming more physically healthy, i.e. eating better, and exercising regularly. I think my first step in taking control is to be more

Nicnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-978656259148939355.post-43854754641974833832012-02-03T10:25:00.001-06:002012-02-03T10:32:00.438-06:00

Who is truly, fully comfortable in their own skin? Who has overcome many of their insecurities? Or learned to live with their faults? I have ideas. I have opinions. I have dreams. But I'm stuck. I'm stuck in this void, in this endless loop, where I tell myself over and over again, "I can't, I can't, I can't." How do I switch over to I can? How do I beat down those negative thoughts and

Nicnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-978656259148939355.post-67277317507478366312012-02-02T13:56:00.002-06:002012-02-02T21:47:54.660-06:00

I originally planned to write about something else today, but I've decided to write again about the Susan G. Komen Foundation debacle. NPR published an article today titled, "Komen Says Efficiency, Not Politics, Drove Planned Parenthood Change." As I read through the first five paragraphs of the article, I expected to see a clear statement explaining how the decision to remove funding from

Nicnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-978656259148939355.post-29844265100259759862012-02-01T09:04:00.000-06:002012-02-01T10:55:22.407-06:00

Where do I begin? I guess on top of my soapbox: Shame on you Susan G. Komen Foundation for ending contributions to Planned Parenthood. I never was a big supporter of Komen. In the spring of 2008, I participated in the Avon Walk for Breast Cancer with my husband in Washington D.C. Prior to signing up for the walk, I researched both the Komen Foundation and the Avon Foundation, since both

Nicnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-978656259148939355.post-43342440625863246722012-01-31T14:36:00.003-06:002012-01-31T14:36:27.795-06:00

I'm stepping outside of the mom role to talk about a documentary I watched recently that I feel should be shared. It's called The Cove. It is about the capture and slaughter of dolphins in a small town in Japan. Some dolphins are trained to perform, then sold to aquariums and places like Sea World, but many are slaughtered and their meat sold. Their meat is high in mercury content, and they are

Nicnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-978656259148939355.post-41785394128903068152012-01-30T14:56:00.000-06:002012-01-30T14:56:01.200-06:00

Last year (2011), in January, my husband and I moved, with our then one-year-old daughter, from Maryland to Minnesota. A few days before leaving Maryland, we enjoyed a 50-degree day touring the Simthsonian's National Museum of the American Indian. A few days after arriving in Minnesota, it snowed a couple feet (if Minnesota's winter wasn't already in the top 5 snowiest winters on record when we

Nicnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-978656259148939355.post-32468109517706570122012-01-29T19:21:00.002-06:002012-01-29T19:21:25.877-06:00

Yesterday, my two-year-old began coughing. I hoped that her throat was just a little irritated or dry and that the cough would quickly disappear. But it didn't. Today, the cough is worse, although, still not terrible. It is a productive cough, so, in case I had any doubts left, I can no longer deny that my daughter is sick. After successfully avoiding all the illnesses that passed through our

Nicnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-978656259148939355.post-65707621565579052792012-01-28T14:48:00.000-06:002012-01-28T14:48:00.708-06:00

When I was in high school, I dreamt of someday working in the music industry. I wanted to work behind the scenes, helping to create the looks and feelings behind videos and the artists performing in them. I didn't know exactly how I wanted to do that, and before I even tried to figure it out, I found myself choosing to study chemistry rather than art. I went for chemistry because, well, getting

Nicnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-978656259148939355.post-54107318125582409082012-01-27T14:50:00.000-06:002012-01-27T14:50:54.599-06:00

Included among the things my mother enjoyed were Egyptian history and the story of Cleopatra. While in Barnes and Noble one day close to the Christmas holiday, I noticed on the shelf of staff recommendations a new book about Cleopatra, titled Cleopatra: A Life (by Stacy Schiff). I checked my library's website to see if they had the book and requested it. I can see why the book is a national

Nicnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-978656259148939355.post-89712307483261632212012-01-26T19:41:00.002-06:002012-01-26T19:41:54.699-06:00

I'm trying to lose fifteen pounds. Mostly, I just want to be healthy. I want to exercise regularly, eat healthier foods, cut out soda. And I know that with that will come some weight loss. I figure if I'm going to lose some weight anyway, I might as well set a goal. So, fifteen pounds it is. I plan to take the better part of the year to get myself into shape and lose all the weight. I'm not

Nicnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-978656259148939355.post-29052623227120283592012-01-25T20:24:00.000-06:002012-01-25T20:24:04.175-06:00

How does having an introverted personality affect how you parent, especially when you have an extroverted child? Really, I'd like to know. I'm reading the book The Introvert Advantage: How to Thrive in an Extrovert World by Marti Olsen Laney. Here's the quick list to help you determine if you're an introvert (from page 29 of the book), with my answers in bold at the end of each statement:

Nicnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-978656259148939355.post-35571060077888582432012-01-24T15:53:00.000-06:002012-01-24T15:53:08.576-06:00

My daughter is flirting with the idea of potty training. She gets my hopes up really high, then she does a complete 180 where she ignores the potty for a while and pretends like she has no idea how to control her bowel movements when she's proven that she can. One aspect of her potty training, though, that she consistently sticks to is that her diaper comes off immediately after she poops. Today

Nicnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-978656259148939355.post-17626250713371061222012-01-23T15:42:00.002-06:002012-01-23T15:42:51.752-06:00

Today has not been one of my finer days as a parent. I managed to poke my eye last night, and it has remained irritated throughout the day today. I also have a non-stop runny nose and suspect I have come down with a cold. As a result, I've been trying to take it "easy," which means I have allowed my daughter to watch some TV. My daughter's favorite show by far is Yo Gabba Gabba. We watch the

Nicnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-978656259148939355.post-66145106101315690632012-01-22T16:01:00.000-06:002012-01-22T16:01:58.540-06:00

My home is quite cluttered right now. And I'm pretty sure it is affecting my ability to think clearly. That, and having a two-year-old. My mom kept our home very clean. I don't ever remember it being cluttered. I always hoped I could keep my own home clutter-free and cozy. It stresses me out to have piles of books in one corner, toys scattered across the living room floor, and bottles and

Nicnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-978656259148939355.post-2642831892992380792012-01-21T00:11:00.000-06:002012-01-21T00:13:33.830-06:00

So, after being in a bad mood for most of the day yesterday, and the day before that, and the day before that... I spent a little time on the Cake Wrecks blog to help myself feel a little better. There is something just so incredibly funny about peoples' failed attempts at creative cake decorating. I guess it's because when it goes wrong, it can go oh so horribly wrong. Side note: Who knew there

Nicnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-978656259148939355.post-38009694093108115202012-01-20T11:38:00.000-06:002012-01-21T00:13:52.350-06:00

Last night I was listening to Adele and her song "Set Fire to the Rain" came on. I don't know exactly what it was about that song, but I could suddenly vividly picture myself standing by my mom's bedside while she lay there dying. Maybe it was these lyrics that brought the memories back: I set fire to the rain And I threw us into the flames Where I felt somethin' die, 'cause I knew that That

Nicnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-978656259148939355.post-19632243979035799272012-01-19T14:15:00.003-06:002012-01-21T00:14:09.850-06:00

I watched the movie A Little Help today. Jenna Fischer plays the protagonist. In the movie, her husband dies, leaving her and a twelve-year-old son, and she gets entangled in various lies in order to take care of herself and her son. There is a scene where Fischer's character is pulled aside after the funeral by her sister and parents. They attempt to talk to Fischer about what her next steps

Nicnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-978656259148939355.post-53672743075671925922012-01-18T15:17:00.000-06:002012-01-21T00:14:21.351-06:00

My stress and anxiety levels have been incredibly high these past few weeks. I feel like I can't get my feet planted into the ground. Between the past year's move, my sister dying, and my daughter turning two, I can hardly keep up with the changes. I want to scream at life and say, "Can you just stop for a minute while I catch my breath?" I knew it was foolish to think that I could start 2012

Nicnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-978656259148939355.post-18331033534461280162012-01-10T15:51:00.000-06:002012-01-10T15:51:11.590-06:00

In reading about child care and child development (so I can be a better parent), I am also learning a lot about how the circumstances of my mother's death affected my development as I transitioned into adulthood. Hope Edelman's book Motherless Daughters has helped me considerably, but as I read the books I am now, I am gaining more detailed insight into the specific issues I faced as I tried, and

Nicnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-978656259148939355.post-42116838298757463782012-01-06T12:45:00.000-06:002012-01-06T12:45:44.892-06:00

I find it hard to enforce some boundaries with my daughter without feeling guilty. It drives me crazy. I am quite introverted. I am quiet, shy around people I don't know well, and I like more mellow activities. My daughter is quite extroverted. She is noisy, a little socialite, and constantly running around getting into and climbing on top of things. Sometimes, I just can't take the non-stop,

Nicnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-978656259148939355.post-82702232852979995402012-01-01T16:12:00.000-06:002012-01-01T16:12:43.956-06:00

I usually am not one to get into the whole New Year Resolutions thing, but I have been so ready for 2011 to end, that I could not help but think about how I would do things differently in 2012. And that's how I found Ghandi's Top 10 Fundamentals for Changing the World. I've decided my biggest goal to work on for change is to change my attitude. I need to think more positively and live more

Nicnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-978656259148939355.post-62634482890532092712011-12-30T18:19:00.001-06:002011-12-30T18:19:42.868-06:00

Tomorrow I turn 30. I have decided it is time to let go of my anger, frustrations, and sadness over the experiences I've had in my life and focus on what is positive, what is good. I need to let go. So, for this new year, I've decided to figure out ways in which I can adopt Ghandi's Top 10 Fundamentals for Changing the World into my life: 1. Change yourself. 2. You are in control. 3. Forgive and

Nicnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-978656259148939355.post-81177550922132070972011-12-30T16:05:00.002-06:002011-12-30T16:05:35.648-06:00

This is my last post about our Christmas gift giving to our daughter. But I thought I would go through the toys just to talk a little bit about my thought process in picking out toys for a two-year-old. Sometimes, I think we overload our kids with toys. It's fun to buy stuff for our kids and watch them open presents, but sometimes it can just be too much. I tried to keep that in mind as I did my

Nicnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-978656259148939355.post-53131348154110831892011-12-29T17:24:00.001-06:002011-12-29T17:24:50.955-06:00

Every child's favorite gift: Clothes. Okay, maybe not so much. And, actually, I waited until after Christmas to buy almost all this stuff. With the exception of one shirt, the hat, and the overalls, I paid between $3 - $8 for each piece you see here. For the past couple of years, my daughter has worn mostly hand-me-down clothes from family and friends. We've bought her hardly anything.

Nicnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-978656259148939355.post-17922261074800012112011-12-28T09:33:00.001-06:002011-12-28T09:35:03.389-06:00

For Christmas, we provided our daughter with a good collection of books (all but the one on top, which came from her grandpa, my dad). Some of the books were bought second-hand. To say that our daughter loves to read is actually a bit of an understatement. We wrapped most of these books in pairs, so there were about six or seven presents under the tree that were just books. Each time our

Nicnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-978656259148939355.post-30609067096342837232011-12-27T16:58:00.001-06:002011-12-27T16:59:10.123-06:00

My husband and I put a lot of thought into what we wanted to get our daughter for Christmas this year. Honestly, it's hard to not go crazy and buy a whole bunch of toys that, when it really comes down to it, are useless, even junky. But we kept some goals in mind, and managed to stay within a good budget, both money-wise and number of toys-wise. It took a little longer to find things to fill my

Nicnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-978656259148939355.post-19632053533921679132011-12-22T18:58:00.001-06:002011-12-22T21:01:08.867-06:00

I have struggled through the years with trying to maintain a positive self esteem. I have been through periods in my life where I have completely and absolutely hated myself. Even in the best of times, I feel a lot of self-doubt about my worth. And I've paid for it through weight gain, a lack of motivation, and a lack in the belief that I can succeed at what I endeavor to do. Lately, I have felt

Nicnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-978656259148939355.post-76955000162778489992011-12-21T09:15:00.000-06:002011-12-21T09:15:44.321-06:00

In the book The Magic of Encouragement: Nurturing Your Child's Self-Esteem by Stephanie Marston, a section of chapter three talks about tender touches, such as hugs, and how important they are. On page 80, Marston writes: Dr. Rene Spitz published his classic study in 1946 of a phenomenon he called failure-to-thrive-syndrome. He was working in a hospital for abandoned infants and toddlers whose

Nicnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-978656259148939355.post-23389264619879146662011-12-19T21:19:00.003-06:002011-12-19T21:19:47.417-06:00

No one told me that being two is SO hard. And that being the mom of a two-year-old is even harder. I wish my mom was here, in my house, ready to take over the child care for a few days. I could really use a break.

Nicnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-978656259148939355.post-27254779470254510762011-12-12T15:40:00.000-06:002011-12-12T15:40:51.755-06:00

I've moved on to another parenting book titled, The Magic of Encouragement: Nurturing your Child's Self-Esteem by Stephanie Marston. The copyright on the book is 1990, but her concepts still seem to apply today. I'm only about 60 pages into the book so far, but a passage I read earlier today caught my attention. The second chapter of the book is titled, "Parent's Have Needs, Too!" and it

Nicnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-978656259148939355.post-14026814143995098422011-12-09T11:22:00.001-06:002011-12-09T11:24:57.308-06:00

I wish I could ask my mom to tell me that everything will be okay. Because, right now, I'm super stressed about some things and I want reassurance that this won't last forever. Since I can't actually ask my mom, I'll post this song.

Nicnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-978656259148939355.post-14677227991437687562011-12-08T09:10:00.001-06:002011-12-08T09:20:15.693-06:00

So, here I was thinking that painting a Christmas tree ornament would be super fun and cute and would make a great gift for my daughter's grandparents. Now that the ornaments are painted (my daughter still has paint in her hair from yesterday), I'm still not finished with the project. First, I need to find a polyurethane varnish to cover the ornaments and protect the paint. Second, I need to

Nicnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-978656259148939355.post-45450713151107246052011-12-07T18:56:00.001-06:002011-12-07T18:58:58.348-06:00

The past couple of days have been... well... a little less than pleasant. I'll leave it at that. I was able to make the Christmas tree ornaments I planned to make. I'm still trying to decide whether I should add some color to the inside of the ornament. My daughter didn't cooperate as well as I wish she had have, so some of her fingerprints are a little hard to see (there's just not quite enough

Nicnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-978656259148939355.post-81524133345435024892011-12-06T20:11:00.001-06:002011-12-06T20:31:40.585-06:00

I don't have much to post today. It's been kind a bad day and I'm way, way, way behind on what I need to get done before I go to bed.  But I wanted to mention that I bought some items to do a craft with my two-year-old that I am very excited about. Hopefully I will be able to post pictures soon. For my daughter's grandparents, I will be making our own ornaments. Well, I bought undecorated

Nicnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-978656259148939355.post-67513875750848567932011-12-05T11:43:00.001-06:002011-12-05T11:57:04.459-06:00

As Christmas approaches, I begin to survey the toys my daughter currently owns and ask myself, "What can I get rid of?" We need to make room, after all, for whatever Santa brings. I've been good about storing away the toys my daughter grows out of playing with. But there is a small collection of annoying, useless toys I am having a hard time parting with. I am trying to pare down my daughter's

Nicnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-978656259148939355.post-80780898722659966832011-12-03T15:58:00.001-06:002011-12-03T17:05:27.408-06:00

I was thinking earlier today about my pregnancy with my daughter. It went all right for a pregnancy. My morning sickness lasted all day long through my first trimester, I remained extremely tired through my second, and in my third I learned I had gestational diabetes. But that was the worst of it. Oh, and the swelling. That horrible, horrible swelling. Let's just say, I didn't wear shorts past

Nicnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-978656259148939355.post-73316832054064477322011-12-02T16:58:00.001-06:002011-12-02T17:14:28.690-06:00

I've decided every Friday to bring up a question from the week that I wish I could ask my mom. This week, I wish I could ask her what some of the more stressful moments were for her as a mom.  The past few days have been very tough at home. My husband went away on a business trip, and my two-year-old daughter did not like it at all. He left Tuesday, and by Wednesday evening, I could tell

Nicnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-978656259148939355.post-56589019511936646322011-12-01T09:10:00.001-06:002011-12-01T11:10:10.313-06:00

The dictionary definition of temperament is, "A person's nature ... esp. as it permanently affects their behavior. I've been reading a book titled The Emotional Life of the Toddler by Alicia F. Lieberman, Ph. D. I recommend the book to anyone with a baby or toddler at home. It is certainly helping me to learn more about my daughter's behaviors, as well as helping to reinforce how I parent.

Nicnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-978656259148939355.post-40240414117676014312011-11-30T09:28:00.001-06:002011-11-30T09:32:55.809-06:00

I follow a blog called Inhabitots, and today, they posted about how more and more children are going unvaccinated. They bring up an interesting point at the end of their post. If vaccinations continue to decline, we will likely see a resurgence of the diseases the vaccinations are designed to prevent against. And if we do, will it become a legal public health issue? It's just something to think

Nicnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-978656259148939355.post-81579988344771652822011-11-29T11:30:00.000-06:002011-11-29T11:36:53.972-06:00

In the beginning of November, an article came out about the arrest of a couple at a Safeway in Hawaii for shoplifting. The woman arrested was 30 weeks pregnant, and the couple had a two-year-old daughter who had to spend, I am sure, a distressful night away from her parents. Basically, the mother ordered a couple of sandwiches for her and her husband, they ended up eating the sandwiches while

Nicnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-978656259148939355.post-13061654844061217862011-11-28T11:57:00.000-06:002011-11-29T11:26:57.309-06:00

The Christmas season is officially upon us. Shopping. Christmas trees. Carols. I'm trying hard to enjoy the season this year. But it's been hard. I look in the mirror and see such haggard eyes staring back at me. Some days I feel so hopeless, helpless. I know having a two-year-old is a trying time in the best of circumstances. And I'm trying so hard, so hard to be a good mom, to be patient with

Nicnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-978656259148939355.post-19316417914259148472011-11-26T08:30:00.000-06:002011-11-26T08:40:26.868-06:00

I watched a documentary the other day titled Life in a Day. You can watch it here. Below is the trailer for the movie. I enjoyed the movie and thought it was put together well.  Near the beginning of the movie, you see video shot by a husband of his wife, who is recuperating at home after surgery.  Towards the end, you return to this husband and wife. The camera turns on the husband,

Nicnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-978656259148939355.post-42122767138054827192011-11-25T09:02:00.001-06:002011-11-25T09:47:17.293-06:00

I wanted to share this trailer and this website, which is about the making of a documentary about tiny houses. More and more people are choosing to live in smaller spaces, and this movie supposedly examines what makes a house a home. I am definitely interested in watching it once it comes out. The house I grew up in would be considered a "starter" home by today's standards. I don't know

Nicnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-978656259148939355.post-18238848798217939242011-11-23T17:54:00.001-06:002011-11-24T08:07:54.454-06:00

The top ten things I have been most thankful for this year: 10. I am thankful for our move to the Twin Cities area (in Minnesota). I've made some good friends, gotten out with my daughter more than I could before, and life has taken on a slower pace that I certainly cannot complain about. 9. I am thankful for those last conversations I had with my sister in the spring. She knew it was almost

Nicnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-978656259148939355.post-38979049249059231042011-11-22T19:56:00.001-06:002011-11-23T09:25:09.319-06:00

It is the day before Thanksgiving, and I sit here with a nearly broken heart. Sometimes I feel hopeful about the future. Other times I feel completely helpless. I know some things are completely out of my hands and those things scare me. I guess loss will do that to you. Maybe I've been sick for too long with this cold my daughter is finally starting to get over. I'm exhausted and irritable. I'm

Nicnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-978656259148939355.post-17839578112591105262011-11-22T12:28:00.000-06:002011-11-22T12:29:26.283-06:00

Sometimes I wonder what people are thinking when creating an ad campaign, especially one that serves as a public service announcement (or PSA). Having studied mass communications in college, including advertising, I learned that it's hard to create effective PSAs. PSAs often involve two things: increasing awareness of social issues (such as our health, our National Parks, etc.) and trying to

Nicnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-978656259148939355.post-78735233416721982492011-11-21T16:39:00.001-06:002011-11-21T16:43:51.639-06:00

My daughter grabbed out her Alphabet Pal toy yesterday, and it got me thinking. For anyone who doesn't know, it's this thing (picture taken from Amazon.com): I personally don't buy toys like this for my daughter. I don't mind so much getting them as gifts, although I do cringe a little over the fact that toys like this are both plastic and electronic. And when I visit the local

Nicnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-978656259148939355.post-47678283262237302972011-11-18T20:19:00.001-06:002011-11-19T10:36:28.491-06:00

Yesterday, my daughter came down with a cold. All the symptoms appeared at once: runny nose, cough, fever. She was fine one minute, sick the next. It made for a long night last night. I stopped counting the number of times my daughter woke up screaming after my third trip out of bed. Exhausted and completely out of energy, I tried to bring my daughter into bed with me. I knew the decision could

Nicnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-978656259148939355.post-21688363339922794052011-11-18T11:52:00.001-06:002011-11-18T14:47:12.575-06:00

I've been thinking a lot today about the past two years and what I've been through. Being a new mom can involve some pretty intense emotions. So can losing a close family member. Combining those two does not exactly create an ideal situation. I miss talking to my sister on the phone. It was really, really hard talking to her about her illness and dying. But anything she needed to say, she

Nicnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-978656259148939355.post-91965521941480209922011-11-17T08:30:00.001-06:002011-11-17T20:47:47.751-06:00

I love being a stay-at-home mom. But being at home with a two-year-old is not an easy job. I remember, when my daughter was first born, various people telling me that things would get easier as she got older. I would not say things are any easier now; they're just different. There are some days so tiring, I wake up in the morning already exhausted and not wanting to get out of bed. I had one

Nicnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-978656259148939355.post-56842210214869937732011-11-15T18:54:00.000-06:002011-11-17T20:48:35.400-06:00

A few weeks ago I put into storage the last of my two-year-old daughter's summer clothes. Included in the pile was a fun, yellow, polk-a-dot dress my sister bought for my daughter when I was pregnant. I cried as I folded it and put it neatly away. My daughter only wore the dress once, in June, to my sister's gravesite service after she (my sister) passed away from breast cancer. I had no clue

Nicnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-978656259148939355.post-19394175404054765572010-01-13T20:39:00.000-06:002012-02-01T20:39:31.896-06:00

I wanted to elaborate on yesterday's topic today, but that plan didn't quite work out, and it will have to wait until tomorrow. Instead, I'm going to vent. Some days I want to talk to my mom so badly I can hardly stand it. It's as if inside I am so filled with emotion that if I get no release I'll just burst into a million tiny fragments. Of course, I am assuming that, had my mom lived longer,

Nicnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-978656259148939355.post-62484347850271051402010-01-12T13:46:00.004-06:002012-02-01T20:37:27.704-06:00

I'd be interested to know how many women felt they had adequate resources available to them right after their mother died. And if they did have good resources, what were they? I don't really know anymore how I feel about the support I did and did not receive after my mom died. It almost felt like my family would provide support when it was convenient, but they often got lost in their own

Nicnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-978656259148939355.post-72749462308684554052010-01-11T13:49:00.002-06:002012-02-01T20:35:57.236-06:00

An unfortunate fact of living in American culture is that the topic of death, and thereby grief, is almost taboo. As I read more about grief, I continually see statements recognizing that the suffering that comes from it is often kept hidden. Those who have been affected by traumatic events in their lives are expected to stay silent about them. How often has someone asked a motherless

Nicnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-978656259148939355.post-79238895197489080282010-01-08T08:26:00.003-06:002012-01-31T14:45:04.748-06:00

I've been progressing through a book titled A Mother Loss Workbook: Healing Exercises for Daughters by Diane Hambrook and Gail Eisenberg. I am not one to typically like workbooks, but I've been impressed with this one. It has allowed me to better organize my thoughts and feelings about my mom's death, and it has helped me realize some issues I did not think existed for me. In the beginning of

Nicnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-978656259148939355.post-33433161999149889402010-01-06T14:40:00.000-06:002012-01-31T14:41:36.159-06:00

It's difficult for me to conceptualize the idea that I am a survivor. I want to believe it, feel that I've survived, but somehow I can't completely subscribe to the thought. Perhaps I don't deserve to be considered a survivor. Or maybe I do. If I had to come up with some "thing" I've survived, I can think of three things. (1) I survived watching my mom die. (2) I survived the death of my

Nicnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-978656259148939355.post-13816932993976906942009-12-16T14:38:00.000-06:002012-01-31T14:39:11.679-06:00

A resurgence of grief during the holidays... ...seems inevitable. I thought I could avoid the deeper parts of grief, the more unpleasant memories, this year; however, I find myself at certain moments wanting my mom so badly I just beg for her to return. I had hoped my daughter healed enough of me that I could focus on Christmas being the Christmas I used to remember, a time of fun and

Nicnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-978656259148939355.post-6068414664056053702009-12-15T12:04:00.000-06:002012-01-29T20:27:09.368-06:00

What does it mean to grieve? The dictionary defines grief as deep sorrow. I don't think the definition could be much more vague. Sorrow is defined as deep distress, and distress is defined as extreme anxiety or pain. But what does that really mean? How does that translate into everyday life? And does it say that those who feel a deep sadness, but are no longer suffering from extreme anxiety or

Nicnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-978656259148939355.post-3455241445336869092009-11-18T20:22:00.000-06:002012-01-29T20:23:09.617-06:00

Getting over my mom's death will likely never happen, at least in the way that I will always feel pain, always be sad, and always grieve over what was lost. My emotions dramatically changed once my daughter was born. Overall, I felt less stressed, happier, and somehow more complete. And for every day more I spend with her, my life feels more fulfilled. In a way I came full circle from

Nicnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-978656259148939355.post-1465809929423629542009-11-03T14:58:00.000-06:002012-01-27T15:00:40.209-06:00

Going into labor I labored for 24 hours; 3 of those hours I pushed. Knowing that my mom could not be physically present after I gave birth, I asked for one thing from her: I needed her to do what she could to help me have the birth I dreamed of. My list of what I asked for consisted of these things: (1) I not go past the due date (2) I go into and continue labor on my own, without

Nicnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-978656259148939355.post-61734899993827407332009-10-30T14:55:00.000-05:002012-01-27T14:56:10.879-06:00

Let's back up... I have some catching up to do, I know. For Part 1 of "Giving Birth" I'm stepping back to the second half of my third trimester. By mid-August of this year, with 6 weeks left to go in my pregnancy, I was on the edge of...well...a mental breakdown. I faced pressure from my employer to design a work schedule for when I returned from maternity leave (as if predicting a future

Nicnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-978656259148939355.post-3069423059663780112009-10-29T14:52:00.000-05:002012-01-27T14:53:23.385-06:00

My daughter and I went to the doctor yesterday for her one-month check-up. By the time I got to the doctor I was already exhausted. My daughter kept me up half the night, and at a time I would normally catch up on lost sleep, I was driving my husband in to work so I could have the car for the day. So, I get to the office, am anxious to get the visit over and go home, I walk into the exam room

Nicnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-978656259148939355.post-54683241308162230462009-10-25T09:20:00.004-05:002012-01-26T20:29:42.815-06:00

What a journey this has been so far... I am sorry to have disappeared for so long. I am even more sorry I did not write down my thoughts through the rest of my pregnancy. I went through some rough days, days where I no longer wished to be pregnant, days spent scared about the changes I was going through and about to go through, and I just had to retreat into myself and work things out so I

Nicnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-978656259148939355.post-69392600273272934422009-06-09T20:25:00.000-05:002012-01-26T20:28:33.808-06:00

Dear Nicole,This is to say I am sorry.I am sorry your mom just died. Please know you are not alone. Despite the many days you'll spend curled up on your bedroom floor, alone and sobbing, there are others out there who understand, care, and need to know you're there, too.I am sorry that no one in your family is adult enough to make your healing a priority. If you listen to their criticisms, you'll

Nicnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-978656259148939355.post-47584969418996970492009-05-13T12:50:00.002-05:002012-01-25T20:26:42.462-06:00

Overwhelmed: It's my word of the month.I don't even completely know how it began. I suspect that it started back in early April with my anxiety over traveling to California for a week-long family (in-law) reunion. But for the last however many weeks, I've been feeling overwhelmed, anxious, and incredibly lonely. It seems I'm moving forward in this pregnancy journey alone and completely unprepared

Nicnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-978656259148939355.post-7468192458832519932009-05-05T12:24:00.002-05:002012-01-24T18:36:24.325-06:00

I continue to work full time while pregnant. The organization I work for went through a round of lay-offs back in March. I was one of the lucky ones to make it through, with the additional news to not expect a pay raise this year, but to expect more work (a co-worker I assisted is now gone). While I am thankful to have a job, circumstances could be better.Working full time in this condition is

Nicnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-978656259148939355.post-61500992319844764232009-02-24T12:10:00.001-06:002012-01-24T18:33:03.708-06:00

Subsequent, Temporary Upsurge of Grief Pages 4-5 in Motherless Mothers (lightly) address the grieving differences between adult women who lose their mothers and young girls. The biggest difference lies in the fact that because young girls haven’t experienced certain milestones in their lives (such as a wedding, first job, or childbearing), they are unable to adequately grieve those lost

Nicnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-978656259148939355.post-87579276095723435312009-02-20T18:30:00.000-06:002012-01-24T18:30:32.456-06:00

I am sorry for the missing post yesterday. I worked through the morning, and then had a doctor’s appointment in the afternoon. By the time I got home, I was thoroughly exhausted and not in the mindset to write. In fact, today I am still quite mentally tired. I went in for a sonogram yesterday. It wasn’t quite what I expected, and it was overwhelming, but we got to see the baby for the first

Nicnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-978656259148939355.post-58980747531536520702009-02-18T18:26:00.000-06:002012-01-24T18:27:26.759-06:00

I originally had another topic in mind today, but after receiving a particular e-mail at work I changed my mind. I decided I wanted to talk about perseverance. (And speaking of perseverance, I am about at my wits end with this nausea. It lasts all day, every day, and so far, nothing seems to work to calm it down.) So, on to perseverance… One of the benefits of being a motherless daughter is

Nicnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-978656259148939355.post-31199665995775218522009-02-14T16:04:00.000-06:002012-01-22T16:04:41.425-06:00

Happy Valentine's Day Today, I feel flat -- like a cartoon character run over by a truck and reduced to the width of a sheet of paper. It's not been a great day for me. Although, it's not been that bad either. Today has been the first since finding out I was pregnant that I've really, really wanted to call my mom and talk to her. I'm getting frustrated with not feeling well, most

Nicnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-978656259148939355.post-73936463510370996472009-02-09T11:41:00.000-06:002012-01-20T11:41:49.132-06:00

Why is it so hard to admit that I am actually okay without my mom? I knew even when my mom was dying that I could go on with the rest of my life without her. However, I somehow feel I am doing her a disservice by admitting to that. I know she was afraid of me forgetting her. Happiness has begun to return to me, and I have fewer and fewer days where the world seems to be collapsing on top of

Nicnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-978656259148939355.post-4089954093767048592009-02-06T10:48:00.003-06:002012-01-18T15:26:23.791-06:00

I am increasingly tired, nauseous, and bloated. My boobs are getting bigger and my bladder is getting smaller, or at least squished. I’ve got headaches, lower back pain, and I just feel awful. It’s hard to concentrate, and if I don’t write things down, I’ll never remember them. But there’s a part of me that is still in denial that I’m pregnant. It’s funny how the mind and the body work together,

Nicnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-978656259148939355.post-49144585342202998662009-02-05T15:24:00.000-06:002012-01-18T15:24:58.938-06:00

I think one of the hardest aspects of living without my mom is easing my worries without being able to talk to her. From moving, to work, to even making vacation plans, I would like to call my mom and ask her what she thinks. There’s something about the validation a mother gives that makes life a little easier to bear.In early high school, I loved to come home from the mall with my friends and

Nicnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-978656259148939355.post-24506311348997010082009-02-03T15:20:00.000-06:002012-01-18T15:22:14.734-06:00

I found out five days ago that I am pregnant. I started getting some of the classic symptoms last week – nausea, breast tenderness, and moodiness. On Friday, January 30th I bought a pregnancy test, and it turned out positive.  Now, I do not believe I am very far along. In fact, I am almost positive I am still within the first month of the first trimester. I realize that there is a fairly

Nicnoreply@blogger.com0